Understanding Coercive Control in Divorce

Coercive control and abuse in relationships is more common than most people realise

In a recent interview with Cavendish Family Office, Elizabeth Hicks was asked “how effective is the law at recognising coercive behaviour during a divorce and what impact does it have on the victim’s financial settlement?”

We share some of the key insights from this interview below.

What is coercive control?

Coercive control is a type of domestic abuse in which one person “seeks total power and control over another and will employ strategic behaviours such as humiliation, excessive monitoring and micromanaging of daily activities accompanied by threats and assaults to achieve compliance. The victim is increasingly deprived of their basic needs and rights and may lose all sense of self.”

At the beginning, coercive control may be disguised as ultra caring behaviour, framed as acts of love. It can take a long time to realise that your freedom of choice has been taken away. There is often gaslighting, where a person twists or denies the truth in a way that makes you question your own perception or memory. In Elizabeth’s experience, victims may “develop a sense of unreality and self-doubt so they become ever more dependent on the abuser”.

Physical violence is not always used but threats of violence may be employed as a deterrent. This behaviour may make you feel frightened or punished, causing anxiety and depression.

Elizabeth says “The most common phrase I hear from victims of coercive control is that they are “walking on eggshells” and constantly worried about how the perpetrator will react to or behave in response to what they do or say.”

Examples of coercive control could be:

• Limiting your contact with friends, family or coworkers

• Monitoring or restricting where you go or who you see

• Controlling all access to money or financial resources and orcing you to justify every expense

• Constant criticism, belittling or humiliating you in public or in private

• Turning your children against you

• Threatening your children, loved ones or pets

Is coercive control a criminal offence?

Since December 2015, coercive control in an intimate or family relationship has been recognised as a criminal offence in the UK. It is recognised as “a ‘course of conduct offence’ – i.e. that it can amount to numerous incidents and a repeated pattern of abuse, sometimes over several years. The criminal test is that there must be:

1. An individual who repeatedly or continuously engages in behaviour towards another that is controlling or coercive;

2. At the time of the behaviour, the perpetrator and victim must be personally connected;

3. The behaviour has a serious effect on the victim, and the perpetrator knows or ought to know that the behaviour will have a serious effect on the other person.”

Under UK law, coercive control is punishable by up to five years in prison, a fine, or both.

Does coercive control affect divorce proceedings?

In legal terms, coercive control does not affect the divorce itself in the UK. You can apply for a divorce by stating that your marriage has broken down irretrievably, you do not need prove this; it is finalised on a “no fault” basis.

That said, in practical terms, many perpetrators may attempt to continue their control as you go through the process of separating your lives, dividing assets and making arrangements for any children. Your access to funds to cover living costs and legal fees may be limited. However, you may be able to obtain a costs order or other funding. Many law firms, like us, offer a short initial consultation for free and will then be able to advise you on your options.

If you have experienced coercive control or other forms of abuse in your relationship, it is advisable to let your legal advisors know. Their goal will be to ensure that you reach an agreement that is fair and in the best interests of your children, if you have them, without undue pressure.

Will my spouse’s behaviour affect the financial outcome of our divorce?

When you divorce you need to separate your finances and the starting position is to divide all matrimonial assets equally, ensuring children are provided for and each spouse has a fair start at independent living.   

Elizabeth says “As much as it pains me to say it, coercive controlling behaviour is highly unlikely to have a financial impact on a divorce unless you can show a clear financial loss as a direct result of it.”

When the court is dealing with finances on divorce, behaviour (known in legal terms as conduct) is taken into account if it would be unjust to ignore it. However, it must meet a high threshold set out under s25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act and you must prove that:

1. the conduct occurred
2. the facts meet the conduct threshold
3. there was an identifiable (negative) financial impact because of the conduct.

The court will then consider whether, and how, the conduct and its consequences should affect the outcome of financial proceedings. It could influence the financial settlement, or it could be reflected in a costs order, which would mean that your former spouse must pay some of your legal costs.

As things stand, victims of coercive control often find themselves at a financial disadvantage. However, it is hoped that this will soon change as the Law Commission is conducting a review to include things such as whether serious misconduct, such as domestic abuse, should affect financial settlements. We will share updates on any changes.

How should a victim of coercive control prepare for divorce?

In the interview, Elizabeth shares some of the advice she gives to people who want to leave an abusive relationship. One of her recommendations relates to the help that therapy can provide.

“Although therapy can sometimes be seen as a “soft skill”, at FLiP we see it as essential. Every client is offered the opportunity to meet with a therapist or counsellor as they go through their separation.”

“While there is no measurable effect on the legal outcome, in my experience, when a client has been subject to coercive control, I can see firsthand the positive effect that therapy has for them in particular. It allows them to put matters into perspective. They can start to see for themselves the extent of the abuse they have suffered and learn how to cope with it and move forwards with their life. This type of abuse is more common than you would think and takes months, sometimes years, for individuals to open up about what they have suffered during a relationship.”

If you would like any advice or information on domestic abuse or coercive control in the context of divorce or separation please contact us below.

**Quotes in this article are taken from an article published by Cavendish Family Office**