“You never know what is going on in someone’s seemingly perfect life, what issues they are struggling with, or the state of their well-being – and so you won’t know what has been consuming me for the last few years”
Most people will be aware that television presenter, Phillip Schofield, announced on the ITV breakfast show, This Morning, that he was gay. During his speech which co-presenter Holly Willoughby read out for him, he said:
“My family have held me so close: they have tried to cheer me up, to smother me with kindness and love, despite their own confusions. Yet still I can’t sleep and there have been some very dark moments.”
“My inner conflict contrasts with an outside world that has changed so very much for the better.”
It is sad that in this modern society an individual can feel as if they must suppress their sexuality for fear of what might be said or how people may act. Phillip himself confirmed the struggles of keeping a secret for so long and explained that concealing such a huge part of himself sparked severe depression and suicidal thoughts.
It is so important that individuals, no matter what their circumstances, voice their feelings and if they find themselves in a place when their struggles consume them, it is a clear indication that advice may need to be sought. This is the same for any individual who is unhappy in a relationship for whatever reason. Talking is often a means of catharsis which can be made easier by speaking to an experienced third party.
If, like Phillip Schofield, you are coming to terms with the truth of your sexuality, particularly if you are also married, the easiest option maybe to suppress the issue and push through, perhaps in order to live that “easy life”. However, as Phillip Schofield acknowledged, this is often not the easiest option because strong feelings cannot be overcome and suppressing these feelings will only make life harder.
Philip continuously references the fact that his family and friends have been so supportive and that therapy was needed in order to process his feelings and tackle his “dark thoughts”. It is more than likely that you too will find yourself in a situation where you did not realise how supportive and understanding your friends and family would be.
“I went to seek professional help, I sat down and poured out my heart.” People underestimate the importance and value of seeking advice from an impartial third party in a confidential setting. At Family Law in Partnership, Jo Harrison, a family consultant and counsellor, offers in-house therapy sessions for individuals or couples who are going through relationship difficulties. If you are currently in a relationship and find yourself in circumstances where the relationship does not feel right, whether this is because of your sexuality or just because your relationship doesn’t feel “right” anymore, Jo can help.
Don’t leave feelings and thoughts to fester.
As a relationship counsellor Jo fully appreciates the emotional upheaval and difficulties of a separation. For further information, take a look at Jo’s website profile or contact Jo at E: firstname.lastname@example.org or T: 020 7420 5000.