When setting a target, aim for the stars!
In this blog, FLiP’s in-house therapist, Andrew Pearce, discusses perseverance and putting yourself first.
Have you ever got to the point where you ask yourself “What am I doing, why am I doing it, is it working, where am I going?”
A woman came up to me recently at the end of a presentation and said, “Thank you. What you said has given me inspiration to carry on and the knowledge that it’s not just me that struggles.” I thought I’d share the lessons learned so far as feedback like that is a massive part of my personal “why”.
We are so inundated with input (social media/phone/email etc) and the pressure to be instantly available can be overwhelming. How can you know what’s going on inside if you don’t make time to listen? You could easily overlook what might be a brilliant idea.
Once the idea progresses to the point where you are going to (and probably feel compelled to) act, pause to reflect on why it is important to you. Whilst money is great, it’s pursuit alone is unlikely to keep you going when it gets really tough. As Nietzsche put it, “If man has a big enough why he can cope with almost any how.” Make sure your why is MASSIVE!
When setting a target, aim for the stars. Setting an ambitious goal forces us to think creatively. It’s all too tempting to set a soft target and give ourselves a pat on the back for a job well done. Set a big target and be prepared to “fail” publicly. Put your ego to one side and get on with it. Failure is the other side of the coin from innovation. Think about it. You will be forced to think differently and even if you fall short of the big target you will almost certainly beat the soft/easy option. Going public helps you hold yourself accountable!
Collaborate. You don’t have to prove you can do it all on your own. Not only is it easier if there are a few of you involved…it’s a lot more fun too. Find people who share your values/your “why” and engage. Everyone involved must have an equal amount to gain/lose from the project’s success/failure.
Persevere. Life can feel like a marathon and can be gruelling at times. Stick with it one step at a time. It may not turn out as you expected and the route may be full of twists and turns. If you put all of the above into practice you will get “there”… even if it’s a different “there” from the one you set off for!
Andrew Pearce is one of our in-house therapists. He is a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist and Clinical Supervisor. At FLiP Andrew’s practice includes supporting individuals and couples across a wide range of family issues including divorce and separation.