Solving the School Decision Deadlock

Solving the School Decision Deadlock

Agreeing the best schools or educational route for your child(ren) can be stressful at the best of times. If you are separated from your child’s other parent, especially if  conflict remains high, the process can be agonising. Parents can easily end up in a situation where agreeing on the choice of school seems impossible because the decision is so binary.

 Who has final say on school choices?

So, let’s consider a common elephant in the room. One parent believes that, as the primary carer, they are able to make decisions about  the child’s education and don’t need to consult the other parent, even where they also have parent responsibility – this is incorrect.  Parental responsibility is just that, it means parents have joint responsibility for their child as a matter of law. As a parent with parental responsibility, you are entitled to be part of all important decisions concerning your child’s life, and choice of school falls under that category. As a result, a parent should not make a unilateral decision on choice of school or education without first consulting the other parent, or without a court order.

Common conflicts about choice of school / education

As an example, problems may stem from mum preferring a particular school because of its greater range of sports or extracurricular activities and outstanding Ofsted rating. However, dad opposes mum’s choice as it’s expensive and too far from the child’s home(s). He may consider the local school down the road is preferred as practical and is also rated as outstanding. Throw into the mix your child wants to go to a particular school because s/he has friends attending there. The question of who is right / wrong becomes a cauldron of tension between the parents including the child.

What can you do?

Such issues are seldom resolved without the intervention or assistance of a neutral professional third-party.

At FLiP we support and encourage parents to engage in processes that are intended to deescalate conflict such as mediation or child inclusive mediation ( for children over 10 years old) where each can air their views and feelings in an environment that ensures they are heard.

If you are unable to agree,  arbitration, which is like a private court, can be a quick and effective way of having the decision made for you.

The advantage of these processes, which fall under the umbrella of non-court dispute resolution, is they are often cheaper, quicker and afford more flexibility than Court.  For example, you can choose your mediator or arbitrator and have greater control on timing.

Should you go to Court?

Court proceedings remain an option and, in some instances, may be the only option. They are however seldom the best option. The process can be lengthy, expensive, and stressful for all parties resulting in increased tension within the family. In most cases, the option of commencing court proceedings should be placed on the backburner until alternative non-litigious options have been explored (particularly where the matter concerns your children).

My colleague and Director James Pirrie discusses the process options available to you in more detail in part 2 of this blog, found here.

If you need urgent advice,  you can contact me  or any of our children lawyers and family mediators on E: hello@flip.co.uk or T: 020 7420 5000.