In this blog, one of a series reflecting on how to get through divorce & separation, one of our former clients considers her experience of divorce. Amanda (not her real name) and her husband separated without children after a long relationship but a short marriage. She instructed lawyers after being surprised by her husband’s financial claims which were made out of the blue a decade after separation when she thought that she had already agreed a generous set of arrangements with him.
What I wish I’d known:
I wish I had faced the issue of getting a divorce earlier. I put it off because I was scared of the confrontation and inevitable stress the whole thing would cause me. It was tempting to just let sleeping dogs lie. What I wish I had known is yes there will be some stress and worry going through it but the support and advice I had from my legal team throughout the process was truly amazing and I never felt I was alone or that I was doing the wrong thing. By the end of the process I was so happy I had decided to go through it and wished I had done it a long time ago.
The low point:
Making the decision to go forward with the divorce was a low point because it scared me to death – like jumping off a high diving board blindfold. Having said it was a low point, once the decision was made and I pressed the button, I felt very brave and committed to the process even though I was nervous.
Once I was into the process it was a bit of a rollercoaster because you don’t know what will be coming down the track at you and how my ex would react. It was quite stressful when my ex kept agreeing to something and then backtracking and being difficult. But taking it one step at a time and with the support of my legal team it was nowhere near as bad as I imagined it was going to be.
The certainty that I have done the right thing:
Once I was in the process I knew I was doing the right thing and that however difficult it might be the outcome of being free from my ex was worth it a million times over.
For some time the team at Family Law in Partnership has wanted to create a community of support between our clients. What we have been able to do, through the generosity of a number of our clients, is to bring together their experiences of going through a divorce or separation in our website, www.divorcediaries.co.uk. The names used in the diaries are fictitious but the divorce stories they tell are entirely real.
If you need advice or assistance about your divorce or separation, please speak to one of our specialist family lawyers:
T: 020 7420 5000.