Divorce is rarely straightforward. When autism or other forms of neurodivergence are involved, the emotional and practical challenges can become more complex. The legal process can add further challenges.
Court procedures, unfamiliar terminology, time constraints and the need to make important decisions quickly can be particularly demanding, especially where clear communication and predictability are important. Everyone experiences these challenges differently, and having the right support can make a significant difference.
A thoughtful family lawyer will be flexible and empathetic. They will create a clear strategy that enables you to participate fully, express your wishes and instructions and access the same legal processes as anyone else. When your preferences and needs are understood from the start, the process becomes clearer and easier to manage.
How A Legal Professional Can Support You
You may prefer to manage parts of the process yourself, while others prefer professional guidance. It can be difficult to know what will work best for you if you have not been in this position before. We have found that having the right support, from someone who understands you, can help the whole situation to feel less overwhelming. This can make it possible to achieve a better outcome for you and your family.
Sometimes a combination of small changes can make a big difference, so we always adapt our ways of working to suit the people we support.
For example:
- If frequent emails or unexpected phone calls feel difficult to manage, we will agree clear communication parameters, using only the methods that work best for you.
- If you prefer order, predictability or routine, the unpredictable nature of negotiations may feel overwhelming. We will apply framework and structure wherever possible, for example sharing agendas ahead of meetings, including breaks at set times and explaining the variables at each stage of the process, so you have a better idea of what to expect.
- If you are sensitive to stimuli, you might find some environments such as courtrooms and busy offices lead to sensory overload. We can help you to plan coping strategies and agree reasonable adjustments within any legal process, such as using sensory aids and agreeing regular breaks. (It may help to know that our offices are designed to feel calm and comfortable with adjustable lighting, temperature control and alternative seating in all of our meetings rooms. We can also provide quiet spaces for breaks.)
Sometimes having the right support can mean a team of people supporting you with different aspects of your separation including the emotional, practical and financial as well as the legal considerations. Every situation is unique and it is only once you understand what support is available that you can really consider what might work for you.
Do you need a diagnosis?
If you are autistic or think you may have autistic traits but have not received a diagnosis, it may be helpful to seek advice or an assessment. Although family professionals can adapt their own processes without one, a diagnosis can help to ensure that appropriate adjustments can be identified and made during legal proceedings, so that you are able to participate fully and fairly.
A situation that illustrates the significance of having a diagnosis is the court case of D and E (Parent with Autism) [2020]. This highlights how recognising autism can change not only how the process is handled but also how someone is understood within the legal process.
At the start of proceedings, the mother’s autism had not been diagnosed and her high level of distress was interpreted as a cause for concern. This was seen differently after she received a diagnosis and professionals were advised of the adjustments that could help her. Adjustments included ensuring instructions were given in a clear and concise manner, allowing additional time for responses in court and providing information in different ways. These changes helped professionals gain a more accurate understanding of her parenting, which had previously been overshadowed by misunderstandings linked to autism. This ensured that the proceedings were fair and ultimately changed the outcome.
If you would like to read more about D and E (Parent with Autism) [2020], you can find further analysis here.
If you are considering seeking information about autism or a possible diagnosis, organisations such as the National Autistic Society can provide guidance and support.
Dispute Resolution Options and Tools That Can Support You
If you are on the autism spectrum, you may prefer Non-Court Dispute Resolution (NCDR) options such as mediation, collaborative law or solicitor-led negotiation than going to court. These approaches allow for greater flexibility and can be more easily adapted than the court process.
It may help for you to be aware of the tools available to support you and your legal team to identify the adjustments that might be suitable for you. Our team at Family Law in Partnership worked with FLANC (the Family Law Advice Network and Community) to develop guidance and a practical toolkit to help legal professionals provide better support to the neurodivergent community in these processes. The neurodiversity toolkit is provided free of charge and includes:
• All About Me – A collaborative tool designed to enable those without a diagnosis to identify and share their specific and individual needs, such as how you prefer to communicate, how you like to receive information and anything that helps you feel comfortable during meetings.
• Barriers to Participation Tool – This helps to identify anything that might make the process more difficult for you (such as sensory stress, time pressure or communication styles) with adjustments for consideration.
• Agreement of Process – Adjustments to the process must be agreed with your ex-partner and the professionals involved in the process. This document records the adjustments that are agreed to provide clarity and consistency. For example, this might include agreeing to share agendas in advance of all meetings, pre-scheduled breaks during sessions, the use of sensory aids, or providing written summaries afterwards.
Together, these tools help create a more structured and predictable process, which can help to ensure that you can participate fully and comfortably in discussions and decision-making.
Every person experiences family change differently. Guided by our belief in putting the needs of people before process, we work with care, empathy and flexibility to ensure those we support feel understood and able to participate fully in the legal process.
Elizabeth Fletcher led the team who created the neurodiversity toolkit to ensure the neurodivergent community can access more consistent support during divorce and separation. She utilised her experience supporting autistic and neurodivergent individuals in different forums including in mediation, arbitration, as a collaborative practitioner and in court. Her approach reflects our commitment to helping families navigate complex situations with clarity, care and confidence while protecting both people and relationships.
