In Conversation with Nicole Phillips: An Emerging Voice in Family Mediation

In Conversation with Nicole Phillips: An Emerging Voice in Family Mediation

In this chat, we explore Nicole’s nuanced approach to family mediation, which blends legal precision with empathy, creativity and collaboration. She shares why she champions mediation, how she navigates cross-border cases and her work with other professionals to achieve the best outcomes. Ranked in the Chambers HNW 2025 mediation Spotlight table, and included as a Leading Associate for mediation in the Legal 500 2026 Guide, Nicole is recognised for her skill and commitment to helping people resolve sensitive matters with dignity and clarity.

Nicole, you are a vocal advocate of mediation over litigation. What draws you most to mediation?

Mediation can work brilliantly for couples who want to sort out the practical and legal issues flowing from their separation or divorce in a pragmatic and consensual way, that puts any children at the heart of the discussions.

How do you compare mediation to other processes for sorting out divorce, such as lawyer led correspondence or court?

Mediation offers speed and a certain degree of convenience, as sessions can be held either online or in person, and at a time that is convenient for everyone. People have control over the timetable and can select the mediator they feel comfortable appointing with a skillset and knowledge base that suits their specific dynamics and situation. 

In stark contrast, with court, people have little control over the court timetable and no control at all over who the judge allocated to their case will be. Most people prefer to have a greater degree of control over their own destiny and that is why mediation tends to be seen as a better option, where it is appropriate and safe, of course.

Legal letters do not provide much room for nuance or the exploration of ideas. They can often provide fertile ground for miscommunications, misunderstandings and in turn, worsening relations.  My mediation table is all about nuance, exploring ideas, thinking through options, and creative thinking.

Noone can be held to any proposals made in mediation, because proposals can only become legally binding once confirmed ‘openly’ outside of mediation. In meditation people always have time to go away and think about proposals made during mediation sessions, and they are actively encouraged to take legal advice in between sessions. Mediation is the ‘lead’ process with family lawyers providing advice where necessary, in the background, between sessions.

Your approach is often described as combining “warm, sympathetic manner with tactical nous and incisive judgment.” How does this combination shape your mediation sessions?

I have 9 years’ experience as a family solicitor meaning I am very familiar with the legal ramifications of separation and can help couples address the legal aspects of their situation within mediation sessions. As a mediator, I also make space for people to discuss the practical and emotional aspects of their separation together, and I always strive to do so with sensitivity and respect. As a mediator, I ensure that each person is heard and that the true meaning of what is being said is understood. It can be positively empowering, and where there are children of the relationship, I help the parents retain a child-focussed perspective.

Chambers and Partners describes you as “incredibly sharp on the complexities of cross-border cases” What are common themes you may face when mediating with a couple who have cross-border elements to their matter?

I work with people on a whole range of international issues, such as to discuss financial arrangements after an overseas divorce, or where the family owns assets that are in countries outside of England.

I often help parents in mediation when one parent would like to move abroad with the children. There are various international considerations that need to be thought through in such cases and mediation can offer a good forum for considering both the legal and practical implications of a move overseas.

Those who have seen you for mediation often say they feel better simply having you at their side. How do you build trust and empathy in a mediation context, especially in emotionally charged cases?

In mediation both people have me by their side, as their mediator, because I am there to help them both equally. I am an impartial, professional third party, facilitating discussions to help people navigate towards a fair outcome.

I offer a neutral space for open dialogue, helping people focus on the present and future rather than dwelling on past grievances they may have.  As the mediator I am in control of the process. This is an active role that requires assertive intervention at times. I ensure that one person does not dominate the process to the exclusion of the other. Both people in mediation must have the opportunity to speak and be heard.

You often work closely with other professionals like family consultants and therapists. Can you illustrate how this collaboration enhances people’s journey.

One of the brilliant features of mediation is its flexibility! If I see that a couple would benefit from financial input, I can suggest that they involve a neutral financial advisor to fill that space. Similarly, if they would benefit from the involvement of a therapist to help identify and resolve emotional sticking points that can be arranged.  Mediation is a process that can adapt to best suit the need of the individuals involved.

If I was coming to you for mediation, what would the process look like?

I start mediations by offering a brief no obligations telephone call with both people, individually. The next step is an individual meeting of around 1 hour with both people, also called a MIAM (Mediation Information Assessment Meeting) – you can find out more here.

Then, if having met with both people individually, I consider that mediation is appropriate, I will invite them to attend a first mediation meeting. Mediation meetings usually last 1.5 hours.

People can either met online, via Teams, or at FLiP’s offices off The Strand, in Central London. Alternatively, if people wish to do separate space mediation (also called ‘shuttle mediation’) then people will be situated in separate rooms and I will “shuttle” back and forth, conveying messages and proposals between the separate rooms.

Finally, looking ahead, what developments or changes would you like to see in the mediation process to make it more impactful for families navigating separation?

When I ask clients to describe what they imagine a good process for sorting out financial issues, or indeed arrangements for their children, following divorce/separation would look like, the majority will describe sitting around a table, calmly discussing options and exploring what could work best for themselves and their family. None so far has ever described a court room, with a judge at the helm, who does not know them or their children, imposing a biding decision on them and their children.

The former is exactly what mediation offers. I provide a professionally moderated environment, for people to work through, and thinking about legally complex and sometimes emotionally charged issues.

It seems to me that more now than ever before people are recognising the benefits of a cooperative separation for themselves and their children. The academic research setting out the benefits of a carefully managed separation on adult wellbeing and child development has been around for many years.

Looking ahead, I can see the demand for family mediation increasing, as the family courts become more overwhelmed and backlogged, and people are attracted towards a process that can move quickly, is cost-effective and puts the needs of children at the heart of the discussions.