Resolving Disagreements About Secondary School Choices

Resolving Disagreements about Secondary School Choices

As the 31^st October draws near, parents struggling to make the right choice for their child’s secondary education may find that they can’t agree. As Marcia Drummond discusses in her “Solving the School Decision Deadlock” blog, this choice is not for one parent to make alone. What happens when you are stuck?

Court

Many people are naturally drawn to court.. Was it what we learned to believe in when we were at school? We tell our truths to some wise authority – they see the realities and give answers that make things all right again? We believe that we are right – the other person is wrong, so naturally our preference for the way ahead will prevail.

The reality is that in the 2020’s court is unlikely to be an effective the forum for sorting things out. Stripped of funding there simply are no immediately available hearings to decide these time-sensitive difficulties one way or the other.

If you submitted a court application today, what is likely to happen is you could be in front of a judge (as well as £10-20k poorer) within say 3 months.

But given that:

• the deadline for secondary school applications is 31^st October (15^th January for primary);
• the decision is unlikely to be made at the first hearing, but rather referred on for a later decision to be imposed perhaps many months later); and
• A parent commits a criminal offence where they fail to make arrangements for their child’s education

it is difficult to see how our natural preference for court is going to provide any sort of a solution in time.

Understanding Your Current School Placement Status

What may be key is to understand the current position. If the child has already signed up for one school, the way ahead could be decided unless a new alternative is now adopted. If arrangements were discussed and agreed earlier, it may be that there is no compelling argument that is likely to succeed if the case for change is argued out. So, although it may not be what you want, a default may already be in place that has effectively decided the issue. It then could be that there simply isn’t time to put the circumstances before the court to decide something else.

Fortunately, there are other options which give you more control over the schedule – and are usually lower cost.

Mediation

Mediation will provide a safe forum, with a professional who will assist you, the parents, to exchange views.

Child inclusive mediation will give an opportunity for the child to be included and supported by talking things through with a trained professional in a confidential setting. That professional can then feed back key messages to parents before decisions are made.

This may provide the solution, but we should be realistic.

So often time is tight and it may be hard for the mediator to really dig in behind what is presenting to find and pull out the roots of the conflict for best outcomes to flourish

As Marcia points out in her thoughts here, binary decisions are hard and they remain hard in mediation – focusing on one binary point, there is often just too little to flex around that core issue from which to find the solutions.

Arbitration

If you are unable to agree and would like the final decision to be made for you in a timely manner, arbitration may be the way forward.

Where started, the process can move as fast as the diaries of the parents, their lawyers and the arbitrator permits. We gave answers to one family within five days, meaning we completed the award from beginning to end, taking in statements and an interview with the child for their views on the options (conducted by laptop over the half term to a weather-buffeted caravan in Wales) within 52 hours.

Whilst it would be possible to do this again, please don’t bank on this time-frame as it was hard going and we were lucky with diaries!

Unlike court, Arbitration only takes place where both agree. However, if a parent refuses arbitration and in consequence leaves the child in a position of unresolved conflict, fairly obvious questions are going to be asked in any future court proceedings as to the capacity of that parent to address the needs of the child.

The child’s wishes & feelings

A child looking to their secondary education is very likely to have wishes and feelings that the law requires be taken into account. An arbitrator will follow that lead as they must apply the law. Article 12 of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child is also clear:

children who are capable of forming their own views have the right to express those views freely in all matters affecting them

And these views are “loud” in the mix. It is easy to think of a child who has asked for one school to have a corresponding commitment to do well there. This may be a better option than a resentful attendance at your preferred alternative where they have the perfect ‘get out’ of “well you made me come here”.

Of course we want to do our best for our children, but best will not always be determined by school choice. Children constantly surprise us, for example, when they find their way to that great group of friends that gives them the foundations for their best chance in life.

The other thing that will really help them is to know that their parents are aligned and onside so finding a way to reach agreement, including your child’s views augers well for the future – because those tough decisions are likely to just keep on coming and the more parents are able to find a way forward the better.