During a divorce and separation, understandably parents may be focused on their own survival and futures while older children may be tip-toeing around seeking to avoid making the situation worse. And when older children are looked to for support or as confidantes of parents, it can be very hard on them indeed.

The needs of older children are often overlooked in favour of younger siblings. Older children often have no professional support allocated to them to help them make sense of what is happening and they often have poor information about what is going on, relying on the experiences of friends. When parents try to help, there is a narrow path between giving the needed, age appropriate information whilst avoiding making things worse or facing criticism from the other parent for overburdening older children.

Older children may benefit, in particular, from the support of our family consultants and counsellors who can offer insight and understanding into their particular predicament. Our Parenting After Parting workshops can also help parents to resolve parenting issues whilst placing their children’s needs at the heart of the decision making process, whatever their age.

At FLiP we have a team of highly experienced counsellors Jo Harrison, Ruth Smallacombe and Dominic Raeside, with a wealth of expertise in helping families, including older children, cope with the emotional questions raised by divorce and separation.

Our counsellors specialise in the complexity of relationships and offer a place to reflect on any aspect of the family breakdown and the decisions associated with it in a confidential, stigma-free way. Two of our counsellors can also support children and young people on a one-to-one basis in a private consultation.