“I just want to go home!”
This is a common reaction from someone whose relationship has broken down and they are living in a country which is not their “home”. Often all that keeps them in a particular country are the children that they have with their ex-partner. And, as often, that is where the problems start.
It is not possible, under the law in England and Wales, to return to your home country, or to move to a different country outside the British Isles, and take your children with you, unless the children’s other parent agrees or you get permission from the court. Getting permission is getting increasingly difficult. The court has to make their decision based on the best interest of the child or children, weighing up all factors including the impact of the move on the child’s relationship with the parent who is left behind. If the children are old enough their views must be ascertained. The adversarial nature of the process inevitably leads to even more difficult relationships between separated parents making the co-parenting relationship even harder to manage.
If you find yourself in the position of someone who wants to go home then get legal advice from a family law specialist as soon as possible. You can find details of local specialists on the Resolution website at http://www.resolution.org.uk/find_a_member/
The most important thing that you can do if you are the parent who wants to leave is to prepare your case carefully and as fully as possible before presenting it to the other parent and, if you have to, before making an application to the court. In particular you must spell out in as much detail as possible:
- The reasons why you want to live in a different – e.g. home, family support, job, new relationship etc
- Where you will live – local amenities, culture, sport etc
- Where the children will go to school – provide as much choice as possible and highlight the similarities to, and benefits over, the current or prospective UK schools
- Whether you will work and if so at what and how much you will earn
- MOST IMPORTANTLY – your detailed proposals for the children spending time with the other parent and how you will assist in minimising the impact of the move on their relationship with the other parent. Demonstrating that you and any other interested adults will positively support the children’s relationship with the other parent is also crucial.
- How your proposals will work in practice, what financial and timing implications will there be. Put simply the further you move from the country where the other parent lives the harder it will be to get a workable arrangement.
- Any other issues specific to your family such as religion, ethnicity etc
If you are the parent who will be left behind if the move goes ahead then you should also take legal advice and in particular think about:
- The practicalities of the other parent’s proposals – not going out of your way to look for problems but identifying any that do exist
- Thinking about whether there is any realistic possibility of moving too so that you and the children are living in the same country
- Thinking about how you present your opposing case – being unpleasant about the other parent or their family rarely helps the cause.
Both parents should try and work together on:
- Identifying the best way for the children’s wishes and feelings to be ascertained
- Identifying a forum where the issues can be discussed in a non-adversarial environment such as mediation or collaborative law
- Identifying a child specialist who can help you focus on the impact of the proposals on the children and so consider options which will work best for the children.
For further information please contact info@flip.co.uk or call us on 020 7420 5000.
Tags: children, Children Act, divorce, family law, foreign divorce, leave to remove, separation